Mrs Horace Vandergelder!
by LinaOso
Summary: The in between time from the engagement to the wedding because with Dolly, there's always a few shenanigans to be had. Rated T to be safe.
1. I'm too old to dance!

Disclaimer: I do not own Hello, Dolly! But I would love to be in a production of it :)

AN: Hello, Dolly! Is my absolute favorite musical. When I began this story, I had only seen the Streisand/Matthau movie musical, and though I have now seen the play, I'm going to stick with the movie because I love how they played their characters. Not that I didn't love the play actors, I just love Barbra. I always imagine my Dolly and Horace to be them because I think they filled their roles perfectly. Enjoy the read!

It was a regular day in Yonkers, New York. Children were playing with their hoops, errand boys were dashing between carts, and couples were walking in the streets. On this wonderfully sunny day, there was one couple in Yonkers that was having a rather _loud_ disagreement. In the inhabited part of Yonkers' most prominent hay and feed business, the disagreement was playing out. A woman dressed in an ocean blue dress, with matching hat of course, was trailing a smartly dressed gentleman in a gray suit. He stamped into the parlor, the lady following.

"Dolly, I am not going to dance at her wedding!" Horace Vandergelder huffed as he sat himself down in his armchair.

"Horace, Ermengarde is your niece! She is your _ward_ for goodness sake! You _have_ to dance at her wedding!" Dolly Levi put her hands on her hips and looked down sternly at her fiancé.

"I'm too old to dance!" Horace threw his hands up and got out of the chair. Trying to find calm, he looked out the window at the people milling about. Some of them were heading to the church already. Dolly came to stand next to him.

"You dance just fine with me, Horace" she said quietly, putting a hand on his arm. He said nothing, just looked down at her small porcelain hand. "Save a dance for me, please?"

"Fine" Dolly smiled up at him, "Go and help Ermengarde finish getting ready."

With a confirming nod, Dolly swept out of the room in a vision of blue. Horace looked down at where her hand had been on his arm. He sighed and started on the small trek to the church. _That painter had already be there when I get there,_ he thought to himself.

Dolly was already inside Ermengarde's room when Horace walked out of the parlor. She was helping young Ermengarde decide where to put her veil by positioning it this way and that for Ermengarde to see in the mirror. Dolly was overcome with joy for her niece-to-be. She could see in the way that Ambrose and she looked at each other that they were in love and would surely be happy together. Finally finding the perfect position for the veil, Dolly pinned it in place.

"There! Pretty as a picture!" Dolly exclaimed.

"Oh, Mrs. Levi…" the younger girl blushed.

"Ah, ah, ah, none of this 'Mrs. Levi' anymore, Ermengarde. I'm to be your aunt, call me Dolly."

"Well, Aunt Dolly," Ermengarde glanced down at her feet, "As my aunt then, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, dear!" She led the bride to sit down, helping her to arrange her skirts before she sat, "What is it?" Ermengarde didn't meet her eyes, nor did she reply but continued to look down at her feet which were peeking out of her white skirt. "Oh, I see. It's about the wedding night, isn't it?" Slowly, Ermengarde nodded her head—up, down.

"I'm sorry to ask you this, I mean, I don't really have a mother-like figure in my life and well…" her voice trailed off. She looked up hopefully into Dolly's eyes.

"I completely understand. What is it that you want to know?" She took off her hat and put it on the bed, ready to listen.

"Is it as—_scary_, as all the girls say?" Her nervousness shone on her face.

"For some, it is, yes." Dolly told her truthfully, "You'll be fine. You and Ambrose are so in love, I feel like everything will be all right. You just have to trust each other." Ermengarde smiled. "Does that help?"

"Yes, thanks—Aunt Dolly." they smiled at each other.

"Are you ready to face your future husband?"Dolly asked getting up and holding her hand out to help her niece stand. With an eager nod, Ermengarde picked up her skirts. "Good, because if you can't face yours, I can't face mine!" They laughed as they walked out of the house.

"You know Aunt Dolly," Ermengarde began as they started out on the town. "I'm not going to be returning to Uncle Horace's. Ambrose found us an apartment for us to live in for now."

"Oh, really? I wonder how he came by it…" she smiled inwardly knowing that she had given Ambrose the connection.

"Yes, and well, I was just thinking, since my room will be empty, maybe you could use it!" Ermengarde cried, smiling brilliantly up at the older woman.

"Oh, my dear," Dolly was flustered. "That's a very sweet thought, but…"

"Uncle Horace will approve!" Ermengarde interrupted, "I know he will. I know he dislikes having you far away."

"New York is only an hour by train…" Dolly fussed with her already perfectly placed hat.

"This way though, you can get to know Yonkers better, and the people! Oh this is such a great idea. I don't know why I didn't think about it before!" She squealed in delight.

"It's a very kind offer, Ermengarde dear, but I just couldn't. It just isn't done, it wouldn't be proper in the least." Ermengarde was downcast. "Don't fret now, dear! We'll be getting married soon enough, and I did hope that you would be my Maid of Honor?"

"Oh, would I!" her spirits were lifted, "Aunt Dolly, I would love to be your Maid of Honor!"

"It's settled then." Dolly smiled at the girl behind the veil, giving her arm a little squeeze of assurance.

Soon, they were on the grass field surrounding the church. Ermengarde's many friends came up to her, talking excitedly. Dolly excused herself quietly and left looking for her seat in the church. Scanning the pews, she found Horace talking to a very nervous looking Ambrose. She walked quickly up to the two men, hoping to save Ambrose from her fuming fiancé.

"Ambrose, has my fiancé been scaring you?" Dolly slipped her arm around Horace's and squeezed herself to his side for a moment.

"Not…" he gulped, "Not at all, Mrs. Levi." Though it was clear he was.

"Well, I just came to tell you both that Ermengarde is ready. Shall we get the ball rolling then?" Horace walked down the aisle towards his niece. She waved over to the priest who cleared his throat loudly. Ambrose took his spot near the altar and straightened himself up. Before she sat down, Dolly whispered to him, "Ambrose, put a smile on your face or you'll frighten her away!" As he did, Dolly sat in the front pew making sure to have space next to her for Horace to sit when he arrived with Ermengarde.

The organ player began the wedding march and in they walked. First came the bridesmaids in sunshine yellow, then the little flower girl in gold with the ring bearer having a matching gold bowtie. Last, but most emphatically not least, Ermengarde came, simply floating on her uncle's arm. Ambrose was naturally a happy person, but he had never smiled wider than when he first saw his Ermengarde walking towards him on their wedding day. Giving his niece to her beau, Horace sat down and the ceremony proceeded.

_"__Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Ambrose Kemper and Ermengarde Hart…"_

Later, at the reception, Horace looked at his niece and her new husband dancing from his seat at the table for the wedding party. He crossed his arms. _Painters, _he thought grouchily, _he better provide for her, or else there will be _Hell_ to pay._ He fiddled with his hat when his own bride-to-be came and reclaimed her seat next to him. _Dolly, you look amazing. _It was true. The blue dress made her look absolutely dazzling. Was it a coincidence that the feathers in her equally blue hat were the same color as his get up?_ If that's a coincidence, my name is Cornelius Hackl. Ms. Malloy probably made the hat for her._ Dolly took off the hat and placed it next to Horace's. Putting an elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand, she looked at him. _He's not happy about it, but he's getting over it,_ she thought.

"You know, Horace, you promised me a dance." She smiled as he became uncomfortable, shifting in his seat.

"Yes, I remember that. Not now though, later." He wanted to avoid dancing as much as possible.

"Oh, but, Horace! If you dance with me now, you won't have to dance with me later when you might be more tired than you are now." She tilted her head looking at him.

"If I dance with you later, then I can tell other people that I can't dance with them because I promise you a dance."

"You would dance with other women?!" Dolly feigned shock, "Horace James Vandergelder! If I didn't know any better, I would think that you had a wandering eye!"

"Dolly, I didn't…"

"What? Didn't mean it? But you said it!"

"Just because I said it, didn't mean…"

"You meant it? Are you not a man of your word, Horace Vandergelder?!"

"I am a man of my word!"

"Alright then, dance with me." She batted her eyelashes at him.

"Dolly Levi…" Horace growled out.

"Soon to be Dolly _Vandergelder_."She smirked, knowing she had won.

"Bah, stop that. Fine, I'll dance with you." He stood up, offering his hand to her which she took. He lead her out on to the dance floor muttering, "Scheming, conniving, insufferable _woman_!" The band struck up a new song.

"If I were anything less than a 'scheming, conniving, insufferable woman' you wouldn't marry me!" She pouted as she turned under his arm. Mr. Vandergelder wisely chose to say nothing but continued to dance. Taking her waist, he guided them around the dance floor.

Though he hated dancing, he appreciated the fact that dancing gave him an excuse to have Dolly so close. As society dictated, couples were not to have public displays of affection. Dancing was an outlet for his affection, a properly prissy outlet, but an outlet no less. Horace remembered the first time he danced with her. It was in the store after they had become officially engaged. _She wore pink that day_, he reminisced. Horace looked down at Dolly, who had been watching him this entire time.

"Penny for your thoughts, Horace?" She gave him a warm smile as they turned to avoid hitting another couple.

"Keep your money, Dolly. We both know I don't need it. I was just thinking about that pink dress you were wearing the first time we danced a couple weeks ago."

"Oh, really, Horace?" She gave him a coy smile, "Do I often occupy your thoughts?"

"As a matter of fact, yes." He paused, "Especially when you're being insufferably annoying."

"I can live with that. After all, you think I'm insufferable most of the time." He grunted a response. "Oh, I just remembered…" He looked down at her expectantly. "I asked Ermengarde to be my Maid of Honor."

"I guess I should find a Best Man then…" His eyes clouded over in thought.

"You know, I have the perfect idea for that. Why don't you…" he interrupted her.

"Don't even _think_ about asking me to make that ridiculous painter as my Best Man!"

"I wouldn't dream of it, Horace." Dolly said innocently as she crossed her fingers behind her back.

AN: I hope you enjoyed this!


	2. Efficient Little Lemmings in Red

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Hello, Dolly except a copy of the movie.

AN: Here's the next chapter! Enjoy the read!

It had been over a week since the wedding of Ermengarde and Ambrose and the newlyweds were already off on their honeymoon. Back in New York City, Dolly Levi was putting away the bracelets and other jewelry that she had lent her future niece. Before embarking on their honeymoon adventure, the two had stopped by Dolly's flat to return the jewels that had been borrowed. Dolly was just putting them away now. In the privacy of her own rooms, she was sitting before her vanity playing with her jewels. It was a juvenile thing to do, but couldn't adults be children once in a while?

Looking at herself in the mirror, Dolly smiled and rolled her eyes. She had adorned herself with golden bracelets, diamond necklaces and earrings, and in her hair were jeweled pins that she had acquired over the years. She laughed thinking how silly she must look. She was _supposed_ to be getting ready for an outing with Horace, but instead she was here in front of her looking glass putting an obscene amount of jewelry on herself. _What he doesn't know can't hurt him, _she thought slyly to herself. She sighed. It really was time to put all of this away. She glanced at the clock on her vanity and gave a squeak.

Horace would be here in a few minutes! Rushing over to her wardrobe, she plucked out the gown she had already decided on and thanked the higher powers there wasn't a wrinkle in sight. Since she already had her under-things on, all she needed to do was slip her dress on, get her shoes onto her feet and do her hair. She gave a sigh of frustration. _Her hair_. Hands flying to take off her jewelry, she vowed to herself she would never play dress up on a night like this ever again. If you think about it, she was playing dress up right now, but she didn't want to think about that. Her hair was probably going to be the hardest thing to fix. Though she loved it, styling the long locks of her auburn hair was a trial at times.

Calming down a bit, she brushed out her hair and looped it around in different ways, trying to decide which way was best for her ensemble. Finally figuring out a way to do it, she began pinning down her hair and hoped for the best. Dolly was placing the last pin in her hair when there was a knock on her door. She bade the person come in. It was Mrs. Claire Goodwin, her landlady. Mrs. Goodwin told her that a rather dapper gentleman was waiting for her in the lobby of the apartment complex. With an exchange of thanks, Mrs. Goodwin left promising to tell the "dapper gentleman" that Dolly would be down in a minute.

Trying to not tap his walking stick impatiently against the floor of the lobby, Horace Vandergelder waited for his fiancée to come down. It wasn't every day that Mr. Vandergelder got decked out in his best, but for a night on the town with Dolly Levi he would. He was in full evening attire; he even had a handkerchief in his pocket! His shoes reflected the lighting of the lobby, as did the wood of his cane. It wasn't that he needed the stick at all, but it was _fashionable_ for gentlemen to have. If Horace had his way, it would be _fashionable_ to wear regular everyday clothes when one went out in the evenings with one's fiancée, but _that_ was never going to happen.

He let out a sigh. Mrs. Goodwin had given him Dolly's message a few moments ago—he should really express some semblance of patience. _You're going to marry the woman, you should get used to waiting for her,_ he thought. Just as he thought this, Dolly came down. _I guess waiting pays off_. It most definitely did. Resting a hand on the banister, Dolly floated down the stairs to him. A vision in a burgundy evening gown, Dolly smiled. Her skirts whispered against her legs as she walked towards Horace who had lost the gift of speech for a moment. She pulled her cream wrap around herself as Horace continued to stare. It was Mrs. Goodwin who broke the stunned silence.

"If you don't mind me saying so, Mrs. Levi, you look amazing!" the older woman said from behind the counter.

"Why thank you, Mrs. Goodwin, I _feel_ amazing." She turned back to Horace. "Shall we be going, Horace?" Taken out of his reverie, he nodded, offering his arm to her then they went out into the night. Walking out on to the curb, Horace made to hail a taxi cab, but Dolly put a hand on his arm. "Do you mind walking? It's such a lovely night, I wouldn't want to waste the view…"

"That's fine," he shrugged. He was only going to call a taxi for her benefit anyway, "If that's what you want."

"It really is. This way we can talk since it's going to take longer than it would have if we took the taxi." She gave his forearm a light squeeze as they walked on. Turning her gaze skyward, she asked him, "Horace, do often take strolls at night?"

"Strolls? Not all the time, but when I can't sleep, I walk around. It's so much easier to walk at night and the early morning because nothing is trying to run you over."

"Oh, Horace!" Dolly laughed, "I'm sure they aren't _trying_ to run you over!"

"It sure as Hell doesn't seem that way! I'll just be minding my own business, when all of a sudden, a car or a horse comes this close," he showed her how far he had come to dying with his fingers, "to running me over!"

"That close, eh? If I had known you were so accident prone, I might not have said yes to marrying you…"

"Are you saying that you're retracting your answer?" he teased.

"Are you saying that you're retracting your offer?" she countered.

There was a beat of silence before, "WHAT ARE _YOU_ SAYING?!" the two said simultaneously facing each other now. They got a look from a passing elderly couple. The older couple gave them an awkward smile as the younger couple nodded and Horace tipped his hat. The older gentleman returned the same with a halting greeting. The older couple bustled off and Horace and Dolly were left facing each other. Dolly looked away sheepishly as Horace inspected the toe of his shoe. Dolly started to laugh.

"Are we always making a spectacle of ourselves?" she asked, wiping at the corners of her eyes with the handkerchief that Horace had produced for her.

"I never made a spectacle of myself until you waltzed into my life."

"Oh, of course, the even tempered Horace Vandergelder never made a spectacle of himself, okay, sure." She rolled her eyes at him.

"Your sarcasm is palpable."

"I meant it to be." She gave him a saucy wink before taking up his arm again. "Well, I may have waltzed into your life, but I do not intend to foxtrot out of it, so you're stuck with me."

"Joy. Now my heart can beat again." He said flatly.

"Speaking of the wedding, what do you think the color scheme should be?"

"Not pink."

"I knew that already, dear." She replied laughing, "Any other restrictions you would like to place?"

"Go easy on the flowers, will you? I don't want to have to wade through a field of posies just to get to the altar."

"Good idea. That would be even harder in a dress." He chuckled as they reached the steps going up to the Harmonia Gardens Restaurant.

As per usual, the entire Harmonia Gardens staff was waiting for Dolly on the Grand Staircase. After all, it _was_ Dolly Levi. Rudolf Reisenweber, the manager of the restaurant, was at the door ready to show them to their reserved table. He was smartly dressed in his uniform, not a hair was out of place. With pride, he preceded them going down the golden staircase. All the diners had turned to see who was _so special_ that every single waiter, chef and garbage boy had come out to greet. As Dolly and Horace made their way down the stair, the staff greeted them with welcomes and glad-to-see-you-backs. Horace was doing his best not to roll his eyes at them all.

Dolly was greeting her waiter friends by name: Harry, Manny, Danny, Stanley, and Hank. _Well, _someone_ doesn't belong now, doesn't he?_ Horace thought aiming his smirk at the ground. His head snapped up when a trumpet gave a wail. _Even the band loves her,_ Horace thought as he saw the conductor, a man with a trumpet, wave his instrument at Dolly. Horace couldn't help it, bringing her a little closer to his side, he bent down and whispered in her ear: "Aren't we just the spectacle?" She nearly choked trying to hold back her laughter. Maybe she would consent to saying the spectacles she made were a little bit more glamorous than his. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Dolly called back Rudolf.

"Rudy!" he was at her side in an instant.

"Yes, my dear Mrs. Levi? How may I be of service to you?" His European accent made everything seem so elegant.

"I was just wondering which table we would be at tonight?"

"Private Dining Room Number One, of course! Nothing but the best for you." He looked back at his staff, they all gave vigorous nods before he dismissed them with a snap of his fingers. They dissipated.

"Rudolf, you are too kind! I was actually wondering if Horace and I could have a table on the upper level? Would that be possible?"

"Mrs. Levi, anything is possible at the Harmonia Gardens." With another snap of his fingers, another waiter appeared at his elbow. "Have Upper Level Table Three ready for Mr. Vandergelder and Mrs. Levi by the time we get there. Understood?" The new waiter nodded and snapped for assistance.

Horace watched as a group of crimson clad waiters swarmed what he assumed was "Upper Level Table Three". In what could have been hardly more than a minute, the threesome had crossed to the steps leading up to the Upper Level and was at their table. _If only _my_ workers were that quick, I'd be a billionaire_, Horace thought with a sigh. He pulled out Dolly's chair for her when he saw Rudolf make the move to. He sat and then was passed a menu by Rudolf who promised to be back shortly. He made good on his promise bringing back with him two waiters laden with trays of beverages.

From the trays Dolly chose water and wine, Horace followed suit. Rudolf asked if they were ready to order. Wanting something new, Dolly responded with, "Surprise me, Rudy, just nothing with beets." He nodded and went off to tell the head chef of the request. Dolly smiled into her water glass at Horace's expression when she mentioned the part about the beets_. I should have said to keep the wings on too,_ she thought with a smile.

AN: Thank you for reading!


	3. A Woman's Will

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Hello, Dolly! except a copy of the movie.

AN: Really, I thought no one was on this fandom, but…Hello to everyone who's reading! I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Enjoy!

Looking down and around from their elevated seats, she smiled to herself. It was always a joy to be here. The glittering gold and ravishing reds with the orchestra playing all throughout the night made her feel at home. On the dance floor, couples swirled together. The gowns of the ladies flowed in and around the men as they spun across the floor. Constant chatter could be heard right above the burbling sound of the fountains. Yes, to be at the Harmonia Gardens was like stepping into a different world. Dolly jumped in surprise when Horace's hand covered her own. She looked up into his concerned face.

"Dolly, are you quite alright?"

"Oh," she smiled his favorite smile, "Yes, Horace, I am alright."

"It's just that you had this look in your eyes…" He shrugged.

"I was just thinking about how much I love it here."

"Yonkers doesn't really have anything like this, I'm telling you now."

She gave him a little shrug and toss of her head. "I'm fine with that. Memories can be made anywhere."

"You and Ephraim came here often?" He always felt iffy when they started to talk about Ephraim Levi.

"Yes, every Friday night. We would get dressed up and ride in a carriage and eat until we were fit to burst. We would always be a part of the dance competition, and we won most of the time. I remember once that Rudolf asked us to have a solo dance. Though everyone was watching us, it had only felt like it was Ephraim and I."

"You two must have been quite the team to be winning the competitions." Horace said politely.

"Dancing with a good partner should be like a dream, like you're floating." Seeing his tight expression, Dolly gave his hand a squeeze. "Just like when I dance with you." Horace smiled into his water glass.

"Well, I hope you know that you won't have me dancing tonight, Dolly." He said with a bit of a huff.

"No? It's a shame. I so would have enjoyed whirling around with you." She sighed as she put her chin in her hand, giving Horace a clear view of some unmentionables. _Damn her feminine tricks_. "I'm rather cold right now, too. Oh well, I guess you won't be able to hold me in your arms to make me warm again. Such a shame…" She looked up at him through that dark fan of lashes. _Damn her feminine tricks to the darkest pit in Hell_. Horace sighed, defeated.

"Stop that, Dolly, I'll dance with you." He rolled his eyes when she beamed at him. _Damn women and their manipulative games. Playing a man like that, how low._ In truth, it wasn't like he minded one bit.

"Horace, I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm glad you changed your mind. Let's just let them know where we've run off to." She waved her hand in the air and a blonde bespectacled waiter sprang to her side. "Hello, Nicholas, how are you?"

"Much better now that you've come back to the Gardens, Mrs. Levi."

Dolly laughed lightly into her hand and Horace just rolled his eyes. "And how I missed it, I don't know how I could've stayed away."

"The both of you are always welcome here," Nicholas said, trying to including Mrs. Levi's dining partner in the conversation.

"Oh, Nicky, this is Horace Vandergelder, the _most_ important citizen of Yonkers, my fiancé." She patted Horace's hand.

"But of course! Mr. Vandergelder, are you enjoying this evening?" Nicholas exclaimed with a beaming smile.

"Well, thank you." Horace gave a curt nod

"Now, Nicky, can you tell Rudy that Mr. Vandergelder is going to take me for a turn on the dance floor? You know how he is when something interrupts his plans."

"With pleasure, Mrs. Levi." He pulled out her chair for her. "You are Rudy's favorite after all."

"Oh, how you flatter an old lady!"

"It's not flattery if it's a fact." He bowed as they passed him.

"My God, Dolly! It's like you're a goddess—they worship you here!" Horace observed as every waiter they passed turned to bow at them.

"The fellas just think I'm so grand since I actually _eat_, unlike the ladies they're used to serving." She sighed as she spotted one such lady in a lilac dress. She had barely anything on her plate and was rejecting a portion from Philip, a dark haired waiter. Though Philip was graciously taking the rejection, Dolly knew him well enough to know that he was taking it personally. _I'll ask Nicholas to send over Philip when we get back to the table. _

"I hate it when women do that." Horace remarked as they waited on the side of the dance floor to glide on in.

"Don't worry, Horace, I never will." Taking up Dolly's waist, he led them into the fray.

If there was one thing that Horace could count on, it was his secret ability to dance. His mother had drilled into him and his siblings the skills of society: polite conversation, dancing and the like. All of these abilities took a backseat when his temper got the better of him though. Not dwelling on that now, Horace concentrated on not bumping into anyone. Bumping into someone was always so awkward, especially when you were dancing because you were leading someone else as well. With a quick glance down, he saw that Dolly's eyes were closed. It warmed his heart to see such a physical manifestation of Dolly's trust in him. Storing that image in the back of his mind, he spun her under his arm spontaneously which elicited her silver laugh. After a few more songs, Dolly allowed herself to be led back to their seats. She made good on her internal promise and asked Nicholas to call Philip over. Absolutely beaming from ear to ear, Philip swept an arm out as he bowed to the two of them.

"Mrs. Levi, Mr. Vandergelder, we are always glad when you grace us with your presence at the Gardens." This one's not so bad, he actually knows my name, Horace thought. "I am Philip by the way, Mr. Vandergelder, always at your service." Horace was taken aback from the first comment from one of the lemmings that was actually directed at him for once.

"Duly noted." Horace nodded his recognition.

"Is there anything the two of you need from me?"

"_I_ need something from you, Philip." Dolly was happy that Horace like Philip, he didn't seem to like any of the other waiters. She would make sure to request Philip in the future.

"Of course, Mrs. Levi, what may I do for you?"

"Well, Philip, I just needed to know how you and Winifred are doing?" Philip laughed.

"You never change, Mrs. Levi. We're fine, thank you for asking, we got married a few years ago."

"Any kids running around?" Dolly gave him an innocent smile.

"No, not yet." Philip turned to Horace. "Is it just me, or do women always have kids on the brain?" Horace decided that Philip wasn't bad at all.

"Women _always_ have kids on the brain." Horace agreed.

"It's good to know I'm not alone."

"Believe me, sonny, there are many men before you who have been subjected to the will of a woman. Want some advice?" Philip nodded eagerly. "Just give in. They're going to get you anyway, so you might as well get on with it." The table erupted with laughter.

"That's some good advice there, Horace. Philip, you should listen to him, he knows what he's talking about."

"I believe it." Philip raised a hand to recognize someone who was trying to get his attention. "Excuse me, but I've gotta dash off, duty calls. Thank you for the advice, Mr. Vandergelder, I'll work it out soon."

"Good luck to you." Horace raised his glass in a toast-like way.

"And don't forget to tell me when the little darling comes your way, alright?" Dolly called as Philip left with a smile and a wave and Nicholas came out with a trolley full of food.

Dinner was a delicious affair of lamb. With much coaxing, Dolly persuaded Horace into ordering ice creams for the both of them. He griped about how no man his age should be eating ice cream in public. Dolly retaliated saying, "That's nearly the same thing you said about dancing, Horace…" Subjected to her wittiness, Horace ate the chilly treat grumpily. Internally, he did enjoy it though. After being bade goodbye by the efficient little lemmings in red, Horace and Dolly started the trip back to the flat on foot.

AN: Shoot me a line if you feel so inclined. Thank you for reading!


	4. Who said I was talking about you?

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Hello, Dolly! *sigh*

AN: Another chapter because I don't want to work on any of my regular stories right now, haha

If three months ago someone had told him he would be engaged, and to Dolly Levi no less, Horace Vandergelder would have recommended that person to the nearest asylum. Under no normal circumstances would he propose to anyone, definitely not the state's renowned matchmaker. But the circumstances were not normal. No, whatever had brought him and Dolly together had to be some extraordinary higher power. _Whoever said that love conquers all was right_, he thought as he looked down affectionately at his fiancée. If anyone said he gave his fiancée such a look, Horace would deny it.

He and Dolly were walking around the park just behind the Harmonia Gardens Restaurant. Dolly had taken off her cream silk glove to pass her hand along the wildflowers. When he asked her why she was doing that, she responded that if she did it in the day time, she would disturb the bees. It wasn't exactly the answer he was looking for, but he had to admit she had a point. He didn't think much of it after that, but continued to watch her. She seemed so at ease in the night of New York playing with flowers, like nothing could possibly hurt her. Her arm was looped through Horace's own in a steady, carefree way. When they came to a bench under a lamplight, Dolly sat down, gently pulling Horace down next to her.

"This has been a wonderful evening, thank you, Horace." Dolly smiled brightly.

"You needn't thank me, it was my pleasure." He gave her as much of a bow as sitting would permit. This made her laugh. She took his large hand into her small, ungloved one.

"You know, Horace, you can be really charming when you want to be." She said softly, cradling his hand with both of hers now.

"I—I wasn't trying to be charming…" he took off his hat with his free hand, setting it beside him.

"I guess it's natural then," she shrugged at him, "it comes out when you stop trying to _not_ be charming."

"Are you saying I'm unpleasant?" his voice was rising.

"Not at all, quite the contrary. I'm saying that you are pleasant. It's just that not everyone gets to see it."

"I suppose it depends on my mood. Considering you make me frustrated, well, there you go."

"What about with everyone else?"

"Idiots frustrate me with their incompetence."

"HORACE JAMES VANDERGELDER, DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN IDIOT?!"

"Dolly, you said 'everyone else'. Most other people are idiots. You're just a damned exasperating woman." She gave him a good-natured slap on the arm. He feigned an injury and started to moan, "Oh the agony! By dainty hands was I cut down, not a soul would hear me fall. For in the dark night I was blinded by a comely face, I would not imagine it at all. Like a tiger, her claws were gleaming, ready to play with her unassuming ball. Unfortunately, her plaything would be me, and now I am broken like a thrown away doll…" he then clutched his 'wounded' arm to himself.

"Bravo!" Dolly applauded his performance. "Did you think that up on the spot?"

"Yes indeed, I did." When he stood up, he swept his hat before her.

"You know, Horace, I have many connections in publishing, you could submit some poems for extra money on the side." He gave her a condescending look.

"Dolly, we both know I don't need more money."

"If I won't have the pleasure of reading your poems, would you consider making some up for me?" She put on her glove before taking his hand again for the short walk home.

"I might as well. I don't want this genius mind wasted. Let's see… There once was a woman named Dolly, who wanted a man like Sir Raleigh. When one lousy bloke didn't offer his cloak, what she found she was walking in appalled her! How was that?"

"Quite good! Though the end bit didn't rhyme too well." She patted his arm. "It was quite good for such fast thinking, though."

"Yes, well, try thinking of something that rhymes with Dolly, or Raleigh for that matter. Wait, I got it. There once was a woman named Dolly, who wanted a man like Sir Raleigh. When one lousy bloke didn't offer his cloak, what she found she was walking in made her choke! Better?"

"I don't know if I want to _choke_, but at least it rhymes."

"Who said I was talking about you?"

They laughed.

Horace and Dolly continued on their way to Dolly's apartment, Horace making up short poems the entire time. There was a poem about flowers having magical powers, bees that lived in trees and even one about a hairy fairy that was allergic to dairy. By the time they had reached the steps to Dolly's apartment building, she was in stitches. She had no idea just how funny he could be! This was a side of Horace Vandergelder that Dolly definitely wanted to see more of. Not to mention she had never seen him smile so much. Perhaps when they got married, she would awaken in his arms to the sound of his voice making up some clever limerick. She was thankful for the darkness for she was sure she was blushing.

Voicing a quick goodbye, she hurried up the steps without a backwards glance. She remembered at the last moment to bid Mrs. Goodwin a goodnight before bounding up to her apartment. Dolly didn't get to see the worried glance that Mrs. Goodwin gave her as Dolly turned on the landing. Fumbling with her key, she finally got her door open. Once inside her apartment, safe and secure, she let out her breath. Her chest was strained from racing up the stairs without breathing. She breathed. After a few moments, she lit a lamp then heard a noise_. Clink. _What is that?_ Clink. _Where is it coming from?_ Clink. _Thisis getting annoying._ Clink._ Taking the little lamp with her, she walked around the room in the dark. She finally found the source of the noise when she pulled back the curtains. Horace was throwing pebbles at her window. She waved at him. He put the pebbles down to wave back as Dolly opened her window.

"Horace! What do you think you're doing?!" She stuck her head out to talk to him. Dolly was careful to keep her voice down though, there was a family with two little ones just above her.

"I'm just checking if you're all right!" Horace replied at the same volume. "You basically fled from me a moment ago. I'm just happy I got the right window to throw pebbles at." Dolly couldn't help but smile.

"Yes, I'm fine…"

"You're sure? Your face seemed a bit flushed…"

"It was—it was from your poems, they were so funny!" she half-lied.

"I'm sorry that my poetry was so funny you had to fly up to your rooms just to calm down…"

"Well, I'm all right now, thank you, Horace."

"Goodnight, Dolly, I'll try to think up some serious poetry for the next time I see you."

"I would like that very much…Goodbye!" As she ducked her head to stand up properly in her room, something fell out the window.

AN: I really DON'T think that Horace would do poetry, but it made me smile to write, so please just go with it. This is fanfiction, yes? Haha, even though I do try to be in character, some things just happen to take creative license. Thank you for reading! Xoxo


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